To be codependent is to be skilled in the art of taking care of other people rather than yourself.
Am I Codependent?
Identifying Codependent Behavior:
- Do you feel responsible for other people's problems?
- Do you feel responsible to help people solve their problems?
- Do you feel guilt or anger when your help isn't effective?
- Do you find yourself saying "yes" when you mean "no," and doing things you really don't want to do?
- Do you try to please others instead of yourself?
- Do you feel bored or worthless when you don't have a crisis in your life, or a problem to solve, or someone to help?
These are only a few of the signs of codependency. One of the most important steps to feeling better is to take stock in the people you have surrounded yourself with. You may need to detach yourself from some of these people. Detachment has many rewards like serenity, a deep sense of peace, and the freedom to find solutions to your own problems. Then you need to learn to say no when you mean no. As a child one of the first words we learn is no, but as adults no becomes one of the hardest things to say. When you can learn to say no when you mean no, you will start to feel better. Practice saying no -- sometimes it is as easy as just not answering the phone.
Are you the person all of your friends go to with all of their problems, but when you have a problem you have nowhere or no one to turn to? If that is the case your friends may not really be your friends. In this case detachment may be the best solution, at least until you have taken time to start taking care of yourself. Start putting yourself first, and stop giving to people that don't give back. As soon as you can do this you will feel better.
For more information, please contact the Women's Center at (203) 392-6946.