Sept. 23, 1997

Today I began learning how to drive a standard jeep. My father and I

went into an empty parking lot and he explained to me the procedures. I made

sure that I understood what he was saying about switching the gears before I

started to drive. He told me that whenever stopping and then going again I

always had to go back to first gear. It was kind of hard because I had to

ease of the clutch and press the gas at the same time.

My father told me to relax because I was afraid of jerking the car or

it cutting off. I also didn't want to make him angry because sometimes he can

be impatient. Actually he was more patient than I had imagined and that took

some pressure off me. Two cars came into the parking lot and parked(of course

this is when the car jerked and cut off). I became afraid again and I asked my

father was I messing up his motor and he said "no you just look like a fool

jerking around" and we laughed.

Upon leaving I know that something was learned and I felt good. Now

that I know the basic concepts, I need to practice and learn to keep calm.

Other than jerking, I think I am learning just fine. I am sure next week will

be even better than this week. I look forward to driving that jeep soon

whether my father dreads it or not.

Oct. 7, 1997

Today my father and I went driving for about 20 minutes. I really had

no problems today and I basically just drove around the parking lot. I had a

smaller space to practice in because there were other cars in the parking lot.

I am ready to drive on the streets and get out of this parking lot. It's time

to see if these lessons are paying off. Actually, I am becoming impatient and

anxious. My father says I need one more lesson before driving on the street,

so that's that.

Well, I feel like I can drive alone. I feel that I have had adequate

preparation. I guess it's better to be safe than sorry, so I will do what my

father says. My father told me that I have accomplished a lot within a small

time period. I am having a hard time understanding if this is so, why I can't

actually drive somewhere. It's not even that I don't understand, I am just

really ready to conquer this. I am sure that after the next lesson I can drive

home, if not I think I will become angry. This may not be the right approach

but I have a strong feeling that will happen if I am unable to drive somehere.

Oct. 26, 1997

This week was my first week driving again in about two weeks. My

father's jeep needed a muffler, therefore we weren't practicing. This week we

went back over everything again and I brushed up on some areas. I practiced

changing gears and reverse more than ever. I think I have really learned how

to change gears well. Basically, we drove in circles around the same old

parking lot. I have to say that I was anxious but I was also becoming

aggravated because I wanted to be doing more.

My father really didn't say anything, I drove wherever I wanted to

(inside the parking lot). It was helpful to me and also rewarding for me to

correct my own mistakes without him saying a word. This was also helpful to me

because it made me feel like I was in control. I have to admit that I thought

about driving right out of the parking lot. I couldn't even imagine the look

on his face if I had. I wouldn't have anything else to write because I

probably wouldn't be driving again.

When it was time to go my father said that he would drive home. I

became a little angry because I know I can drive home if he just would let

me. This was not helpful to me at all because I thought that I was doing so

well, this sort of took some of my pride. In a way I'm ready forget it but I

know this is something that I must stick with. This is something that I really

want to learn and I feel like my father is not letting me grow into it. I

expected to be doing more each week. It seems like I am doing the same thing

each week, if even that. You know how the saying goes, "Everything thing

happen for a reason" maybe the muffler broke for a reason and I should have

chosen a new skill.

Nov. 13, 1997

Today was a great lesson and I enjoyed it very much. My father pulled

over and told me I could drive. This was such a turn around from the other

lessons. Today was my first time driving alone in the car with my father. I

drove around Southern, down Goffe Street and all the way up Sherman Ave. I

basically drove where I wanted to. I was so happy, I didn't want to stop

driving.

It was helpful for me to drive without someone telling me where

to go, where to turn, and when I'm finished. It showed after all that he had

faith in me. Maybe all the other times that he didn't let me drive help to

build up my confidence. I was so happy that my father was seeing me drive. I

have accomplished part of my goal, the other part ( me taking the jeep for a

spin alone) I have to work on. I have no complaints because nothing upset me

this lesson, finally. Nothing held me back, I have to say that I'm a happy

camper. It's feels good to report good news. Maybe I'll see you on the road

someimes.